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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29152209">love in the language of kozume kenma</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/mangoteas/pseuds/mangoteas'>mangoteas</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Haikyuu!!</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Boys In Love, Chatting &amp; Messaging, Childhood Friends, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Kozume Kenma is Bad at Feelings, Kuroo Tetsurou in Love, M/M, Minor Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio, One Shot, hopelessly in love, i mean that was a given but its a lil different from cannon, kenma doesnt understand love, like if you squint - Freeform, like terrible, only like a lil cuz i think its fun</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-02-04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-02-04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 09:27:27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>4,316</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29152209</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/mangoteas/pseuds/mangoteas</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>“Ok. We can just sit if you want. I wanna be your friend.”<br/>Kenma took a moment to process exactly what Kuroo had said.<br/>“Why?"</p><p>(In which Kenma doesn’t understand what it means to love.)</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Kozume Kenma/Kuroo Tetsurou</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>9</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>66</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>love in the language of kozume kenma</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>When Kenma met Kuroo, he was six and Kuroo was seven. </p><p>Kenma didn’t have any friends going into elementary school. All the other kids said he was too quiet, no fun. He didn’t much like them either. They were loud and obnoxious and annoying and six-year-old Kenma couldn’t stand it. He knew that they would stay away if he was boring, so he simply didn’t talk. </p><p>For a long while, it worried his teachers. His parents even more. But Kenma was happy with himself and his 3DS, and that was all he needed. His parents didn’t understand that, really. They said he needed to make at least one friend, or talk to someone. Kenma thought it was ridiculous. </p><p>So, come the first day of his first year, he did what he was good at. He stayed quiet. He introduced himself, sure. He answered a question or two in class. But he didn’t talk to anyone else. He was dry in response to anything he had to, and never showed even a drop of enthusiasm for anything. He thought this year would go on as his year in kindergarten had. </p><p>It didn’t. Not in the slightest. </p><p>Kuroo Tetsurou. The first thing Kenma thought when he saw him was that his hair was awful. It stuck up awkwardly in different directions and he kept running his hands over it, trying to get it flat and miserably failing. </p><p>When Kuroo came over to him on the playground, intent on introducing himself, Kenma told him exactly that. It might work to scare him off so he could go and build tiny fairy houses at the base of the big tree by himself. It didn’t. All that Kuroo said was:</p><p>“Really? I better give up on fixing it then,” He laughed anxiously, and then: “You’re Kozume, right? Kenma?” </p><p>Kenma was shocked for a second, before staring back down at the ground. Some people were just stubborn, he guessed. He nodded and went back to playing with the grass under his fingertips. </p><p>“Cool! So, uhm, do you wanna come play tag with me?”</p><p>Kenma stayed quiet. </p><p>“Okay... We can just sit if you want. I wanna be your friend.”</p><p>Kenma took a moment to process exactly what Kuroo had said. </p><p>“Why?” </p><p>“I dunno. You seem pretty cool, and you’ve got a 3DS. I kinda want a 3DS.”</p><p>“That’s a silly reason to be someone’s friend.”</p><p>“Well, it’s my reason!”</p><p>He didn’t really have much else to say to that, so he just said, “Ok.”</p><p>Apparently “ok” meant that Kenma definitely wanted to be Kuroo’s friend and he was ok with it. Which, he wasn’t really, but Kuroo still let Kenma ignore him in favor of drawing patterns in the dirt, so it wasn’t really too bad. </p><p>Plus, when he went back home that day, he could tell his parents that, yes, he had made a friend. Maybe he did lie a bit when he said he talked to Kuroo but it was better than nothing. </p><p>Kenma really hoped that maybe Kuroo would get bored after a while and leave Kenma to himself. </p><p>He did not. Kuroo showed up every day at recess next to Kenma at the tree with the biggest roots in the yard and talked. </p><p>It was a little confusing to him. None of the other kids he’d ever met kept coming back as Kuroo did. So maybe, even when he was pretending not to, Kenma listened to what Kuroo said. </p><p>He just had to figure him out, like a video game. What combo would work in order to get Kuroo to go away? </p><p>Somewhere along the way, Kenma began to stop looking for what would make Kuroo go away and start looking for what he liked about Kuroo. Eventually, he forgot he ever even wanted Kuroo gone in the first place. </p><p>Kenma never talked much, but Kuroo had enough words for the both of them, and that was good enough.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>Now, in his first year of high school, both of them a piece of the Nekoma Volleyball team, it feels like not too much has really changed between the two. </p><p>They are best friends and had been for a while. Kuroo talked and Kenma listened. Kenma would talk too, sometimes (but Kuroo was always a terrible listener). </p><p>Kuroo has more friends than Kenma. He always did. Yaku, Kai, and his other classmates. Since he always hung out with Kenma regardless, it never bothered him much. </p><p>Still, they are in high school. And with age comes the infamous question, “do you have a girlfriend?”</p><p>Kenma always thought it was ridiculous, but Kuroo, ever the romantic, had wanted a relationship more than anything since his sixth year.</p><p>He would go on endless rants about what he’d seen in the movies, about a perfect kiss, or the butterflies he might feel if he could ever hold a girl’s hand. </p><p>“They always say it feels like sparks in books, you know! Wouldn’t that be just <em> amazing!” </em>Kuroo had said one day when they were younger.</p><p>“Yeah, I guess. I’m not really sure what that’s supposed to mean though. I held Eiko’s hand last week for an exercise in gym and I don’t feel any different.”</p><p>Kuroo groaned and fell back on the grass where they sat. “I don’t know why I even bother ranting to you about all of this. You never understand any of it.”</p><p>“People have never been my thing, I guess.”</p><p>“Sometimes, I wonder if you’re really a robot hiding in human skin.”</p><p>“Yeah, I wish. I still have to go to school instead of playing video games. I think if I was a robot I could just plug information straight into my brain.”</p><p>Kuroo laughed and sat back up again. “Maybe you just don’t have loooove feelings like the rest of us peasants,” He raised his eyebrows at Kenma, trying to provoke his reaction. It didn’t work. Kenma just furrowed his brow and stared at the ground. </p><p>He never seemed to <em>get it</em>. He didn’t understand the need for another person, let alone a girl to hold his hand or cheer him on. If he really needed that, he had Kuroo, and that was more than plenty for him. </p><p>He told Kuroo just that.</p><p>“Oh.” A cough, and then, “Well, whatever you say, Kenma.”</p><p>Kuroo’s voice was a little strange, he thought, but it might’ve just been shock from the admission. He didn’t bother him about it. </p><p>Kuroo finally lands his first girlfriend in his second year at Nekoma, and things between the friends begin to change.</p><p>It shouldn’t bother him as much as it does. It really shouldn’t. But Kenma is quiet when Kuroo isn’t there to fill the silence, and he feels very much alone. </p><p>When Kuroo is with Kenma, so is Ayumi, the girlfriend. She's nice, and she makes Kuroo smile his ridiculous smile, but her presence makes their exchanges seem awkward. It makes everything feel <em>off. </em> </p><p>They let themselves drift. Kuroo seems fine. He always would be. He has friends and support for days, he isn’t reliant on Kenma like he is on Kuroo. </p><p>Kenma… is doing worse. But loneliness was always his thing in the past. He still has his video games to keep him company when Kuroo isn’t there. They should be enough for him-- but they aren’t. </p><p>When Kenma realizes he only ever sees Kuroo at volleyball practice,  it starts to become a bit too much to handle. </p><p>After practice, Kenma drags Kuroo’s ass over to his house and berates him for spending all-too much time with his dumb girlfriend and leaving him alone. Somewhere in his abnormally long portion of speech Kenma starts to cry, and when Kuroo sees that, he starts crying. Suddenly the two of them are back. </p><p>Kenma yells at Kuroo for getting snot all over his shirt, knowing full well he’d just done the same, but Kuroo just rubs his face into Kenma’s shirt again anyway. They laugh in their awkward, usual way and Kuroo promises never to do that to him again. All is well. </p><p>But good things just don’t seem to last for Kenma. They never have. You can play a game over and over, but you’re going to hit a snag somewhere along the way.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>The first inkling of worry is in December. </p><p>Kenma stole Kuroo’s Nekoma jacket again, as he had in the past whenever it got cold. Last year, Kuroo kept trying to steal it back. It was a game with them, who could have the jacket for longer. Kenma usually won, but Kuroo hated being cold; he always tried to get it back. </p><p>When Kenma wears the jacket home this time, Kuroo doesn’t react. He is clearly cold, practically shaking, but he tries to make it seem like he doesn’t care.</p><p>It’s weird. Kenma doesn’t feel guilty, he is warm and comfortable. So if that’s Kuroo’s goal, his plan isn’t working. </p><p>He doesn’t ask about it. It was a minimal gesture, and Kenma was happy when he got to keep the jacket. Still, it was strange, especially for Kuroo. </p><p>Kenma let it burn at the back corner of his mind. </p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>Ayumi dumps Kuroo. That’s the next hint. </p><p>Kenma doesn’t quite understand why she would break up with him. He knows that Kuroo cries a lot now and that he refuses to say anything about it. From what he knows of Ayumi, he doesn’t think she’s the type to dump a person for no reason. But that’s all that Kenma knows about the situation. </p><p>He doesn’t know much about relationships or how they work because he simply doesn’t care. The one thing he does care about is Kuroo, and Kuroo isn’t willing to give him anything, so he doesn’t press it too much. </p><p>And he let it go.</p><p>Kuroo goes back to something resembling normal just a week later, and Kenma’s worry is pressed to the ever-burning fire at the back of his mind. </p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>What is ‘normal’ for Kuroo? Terrible hair? Sharp, creepy smiles? His awkward speeches at the beginning of volleyball games, maybe?</p><p>There is no good way to describe it, really. ‘Normal’ is more of a gut feeling. </p><p>According to Kenma’s gut, Kuroo isn’t acting terribly ‘normal’. He still gives weird speeches and smiles his creepy smile and styles his hair terribly, but there is just a twinge of <em>wrong </em>in every one of those things. It doesn’t feel natural anymore. Kuroo feels too far away from his reach, and Kenma hates it. </p><p>The problem is probably whatever Ayumi said when she dumped Kuroo, what he wouldn’t tell Kenma about. He wants to respect Kuroo’s decision in keeping that from him, but he can’t <em>stand </em>the stiff, tense air between them. It’s suffocating and Kenma <em>really </em>wants his best friend back. Unless Kenma can figure out what the hell is wrong, it won’t ever be the same. </p><p>So, Kenma does what he does best. He begins to observe. </p><p>He forces himself to pay more attention to Kuroo, to listen to the meanings behind his words, and hang onto every word he speaks. </p><p>Once he opens his eyes, just a smidge, he finds a lot more than he’d bargained for.</p><p> </p><p>1. Kuroo is fidgety.</p><p>Kenma knows he always gets fidgety before a test or a big game, but it’s constant now. The hems of the jacket Kenma keeps on stealing at the end of every day are beginning to stretch, and the loose thread that hangs from the left sleeve is pulled out so much that a hole is forming along the seam. </p><p>2. Kuroo wasn’t really trying to flirt with any girls.</p><p>Kuroo used to constantly strive for female attention. He aimed for the reputation of “bad boy” or whatever that was supposed to mean. Kenma always thought it was stupid, but it was just something that Kuroo did. Suddenly, it stopped. It isn’t that girls have stopped talking to and confessing to <em>him</em>. That still happens. Kuroo just isn’t reaching for their attention anymore. </p><p>3. He is, however, reaching for Kenma’s.</p><p>Kuroo is paying attention to Kenma a lot. Like, <em> a lot</em>. He is noticing things in the same way Kenma is trying to but without any effort. He’d begun to willingly give up his jacket on colder days, always make sure Kenma drinks water during practice, and pull him away from conversations Kenma doesn’t want to have. He didn’t notice how hard Kuroo tried before, but it probably wasn’t always this way. And that’s because… well…</p><p>4. Kuroo is in love with him.</p><p>He didn’t notice before how often Kuroo looked at him, or how his cheeks burned a subtle pink when Kenma wore his jacket. But that’s because Kenma wasn’t looking. Now, his eyes are open just wide enough to pick up on it. And wow. It explained <em>everything</em>.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>Kenma isn’t sure what to do. He has all the reasons Kuroo is acting strange. He has what he needed to fix their friendship back up again. Still, somehow, this was much worse. </p><p>He knows that Kuroo will continue being weird, and even though he knows why. There is nothing he can do about it. Kenma might not know much about relationships, but he knows feelings can’t just shift from romantic back to platonic. It’s not a conscious decision. Kuroo had clearly liked him for months. Ayumi noticed it too, which is likely why she broke up with Kuroo in the first place. </p><p>He knew why. He had figured out the puzzle, solved the case. But what was he supposed to do now?</p><p>The fire in his mind burns and roars, but his face stays all the same.</p><p>He pushes it back and away, yet again.</p><p>And life goes on. </p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>When Kenma met Shouyou, he was 17 and Shouyou was 16.</p><p>Hinata Shouyou was brighter than the sun and hovered around Kenma much in the way that Kuroo did. </p><p>He was <em>fascinating. </em>He gave Kenma a new challenge, a new level to his game.</p><p>Shouyou was both confusing and straightforward. He was trying to rile up Kenma into putting in more effort, so they’d both have a challenge. It was the first thing he noticed when he met him, and it was incredibly stupid. But Shouyou seemed almost endless. His energy was constant, his resilience never faltered. His eagerness to fight, to win was something Kenma would never understand. </p><p>They both had it, Shouyou and Kageyama. </p><p>Kageyama was less of an enigma. He was calculated, and precise but only on the court. He had the same fire as Shouyou, the desire to win. The difference was; Kageyama possessed the capability to allow it to happen, to let Shouyou fly. He was their control tower, the one calling all of Hinata’s shots. </p><p>In a way, Kenma thought, they were a little like him and Kuroo. Kenma was the one setting their boundaries, setting their pace, setting every volleyball Kuroo needed to level up. Of course, he and Kuroo didn’t battle the way they did, grasping at each other's throats, and Kuroo didn’t beg for Kenma’s attention in the way Shouyou did. </p><p>But they worked on the court. Their quick caught Kenma off guard; a rare occasion in volleyball. Nekoma still won the practice match, agile as ever and eyes just as sharp. But Kenma was still stuck on Shouyou. </p><p>“What do you think about Shouyou?” he asked Kuroo when they were walking home that day.</p><p>“The red-haired kid? Well, he can jump, that’s for sure.” </p><p>“I talked to him earlier. He gave me his email. I’m not sure why he’s so set on fighting with me.”</p><p>He could tell Kuroo was giving him a look. He ignored it. </p><p>“He’s set on fighting a lot of people, I guess. Even his teammates.”</p><p>“Their setter? Yeah, I noticed that. I’m surprised they haven’t killed each other yet.”</p><p>A beat of silence, and then:</p><p>“They’re really not much like us at all.”</p><p>“No. Not really.”</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>
  <b>To: kengames@gmail.com </b>
</p><p>
  <b>From: hinatasho10@hotmail.net</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Subject: hi!</b>
</p><p>
  <b>hey, kenma!!!! It’s shouyou!!!! did you win that praktice match with shinzen?????</b>
</p><p>“Hey, what’re you on your phone for?”</p><p>Kenma jolts a bit at his voice. Kuroo hovers over his shoulder, craning to look at Kenma’s phone. He holds it out for Kuroo to see. </p><p>“Oh, the short kid.” Kenma isn’t looking at him, but he can feel the slight cringe in his voice. </p><p>“Yeah. I told you, he gave me his email.”</p><p>“And you… messaged him?” Kuroo sounds wondrous. </p><p>“I did.”</p><p>“Wow… I never thought I’d see the day!” is all he says before snatching Kenma’s phone from his hands and sprinting off to the other side of the gym.</p><p>“Catch me if you can!”</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>Kuroo was most definitely trying to distract both himself and Kenma from the fact that he was jealous. </p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>
  <b>To: kengames@gmail.com </b>
</p><p>
  <b>From: hinatasho10@hotmail.net</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Subject: ???</b>
</p><p>
  <b>hey kenma random question what do youdo if you haveac rush on somebody?????? plz help</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>To: hinatasho10@hotmail.net</b>
</p><p>
  <b>From: kengames@gmail.com </b>
</p><p>
  <b>Subject: ???</b>
</p><p>
  <b>idk? im probably the worst person to ask this, shouyou</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>To: kengames@gmail.com </b>
</p><p>
  <b>From: hinatasho10@hotmail.net</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Subject: ???</b>
</p><p>
  <b>your the only pesron i know in a relationshp so idk</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>To: hinatasho10@hotmail.net</b>
</p><p>
  <b>From: kengames@gmail.com </b>
</p><p>
  <b>Subject: ???</b>
</p><p>
  <b>i’m not in a relationship ?</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>To: kengames@gmail.com </b>
</p><p>
  <b>From: hinatasho10@hotmail.net</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Subject: ???</b>
</p><p>
  <b>but??? kuroo???? he was even more meaner than kageyama when i came over to talk, it was kinda scary…... he totlly is very boyfreind-y withyou tho kenmaa !!!!</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>To: hinatasho10@hotmail.net</b>
</p><p>
  <b>From: kengames@gmail.com </b>
</p><p>
  <b>Subject: ???</b>
</p><p>
  <b>i know. thats the problem. i don’t really know what its like to have a crush on someone else, just what it’s like to have someone in love with you. </b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>To: kengames@gmail.com </b>
</p><p>
  <b>From: hinatasho10@hotmail.net</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Subject: ???</b>
</p><p>
  <b>and ur nto datinsg?? ok im not gnna get into that but u can stll give me advise r ight??? like what happend when he told u and stuff? like how do u stay friends n stuff??????</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>To: hinatasho10@hotmail.net</b>
</p><p>
  <b>From: kengames@gmail.com </b>
</p><p>
  <b>Subject: ???</b>
</p><p>
  <b>he didn’t tell me. I figured it out. we’re friends because he doesn’t know that i know</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>To: kengames@gmail.com </b>
</p><p>
  <b>From: hinatasho10@hotmail.net</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Subject: ???</b>
</p><p>
  <b>oh well i guess were in opposit positions then haha… what are u gonna do abt kuroo??</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>To: hinatasho10@hotmail.net</b>
</p><p>
  <b>From: kengames@gmail.com </b>
</p><p>
  <b>Subject: ???</b>
</p><p>
  <b>probably nothing. that’s what ive been doing</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>To: kengames@gmail.com </b>
</p><p>
  <b>From: hinatasho10@hotmail.net</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Subject: ???</b>
</p><p>
  <b>KENMAAAA!!!! u cant jst do that!!!! u know he loves u??? and i dont wanna assume here but u look like u love him back so why dont you just say something?????</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>To: hinatasho10@hotmail.net</b>
</p><p>
  <b>From: kengames@gmail.com </b>
</p><p>
  <b>Subject: ???</b>
</p><p>
  <b>i look like i love him back? what does that mean?</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>To: kengames@gmail.com </b>
</p><p>
  <b>From: hinatasho10@hotmail.net</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Subject: ???</b>
</p><p>
  <b>well u let him like be all boyfriend-y and stuff!!! and nobody else can do that really. im not rlly sure its just the vibes!!!!</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>To: hinatasho10@hotmail.net</b>
</p><p>
  <b>From: kengames@gmail.com </b>
</p><p>
  <b>Subject: ???</b>
</p><p>
  <b>im not sure if i like him back. i guess i never really thought about that as a possibility</b>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <b>To: kengames@gmail.com </b>
</p><p>
  <b>From: hinatasho10@hotmail.net</b>
</p><p>
  <b>Subject: ???</b>
</p><p>
  <b>well think about it!!!!!!!! i hope it works out!!!! now do you know functions work because ive been tryin to figur them out with kageyama, but hes almost as dumb as i am… </b>
</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>Kenma thinks about it a lot. Too much, probably. </p><p>He’s surprised he never thought of it himself before. He was always too occupied trying to fix their relationship, rather than addressing his own feelings. </p><p>What does love look like for Kenma? What does it feel like? </p><p>How is he supposed to know the difference from what he’s already feeling and something so vague? Was there a difference? </p><p>He thinks about Shouyou. Shouyou is his friend. Is Shouyou nice to look at? Yes. But does Kenma want to do ‘boyfriend-y’ things with Shouyou? No.</p><p>Did he want that with Kuroo?</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>It’s precisely 4:28 in the morning when he decides that he does. </p><p>He wants boyfriend-y things with Kuroo. He wants all of it, but he couldn’t tell before because it was already happening. </p><p>Kuroo was always clinging to him. He liked to keep his hands on Kenmas shoulders and sometimes draped his arms over him. Kenma let it happen. Kenma <em>liked it.</em> They walked home together every day, and Kuroo was always dropping him off. Kenma was <em>always</em> in his jacket. It was no wonder Shouyou thought they were dating. It was a wonder, however, that Kenma didn’t figure out sooner. </p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>The next day, he walks into school looking like absolute hell.</p><p>He’s running on two hours of sleep, about four shots of espresso, and the exhilaration of a crisis.</p><p>
  <em> Everything is fine. It’ll be fine. </em>
</p><p> </p><p>It is, most definitely, <em> not </em>fine. </p><p>Things are Not Good™. Kenma is hesitant and he hates himself for it. He’s being even quieter than usual, and Kuroo is babbling bullshit trying to make conversation. It isn’t working. Not at all. </p><p>He needs to fix this. He knows it has to be <em>him </em>because he’d spent far too long waiting for Kuroo to do it for him.</p><p> </p><hr/><p> </p><p>Kenma isn’t the type to talk much. But today, he’s feeling a little out of character. To be entirely honest, Kenma wants to scream until Kuroo finally does <em>something</em>. He’s sick and tired of the energy between them; the terrible, all-too explained awkwardness. </p><p>As soon as they part from the team for the night, he snaps. </p><p>“Kuroo.”</p><p>“Kenma.”</p><p>“We need to talk.”</p><p>Kuroo’s face drops. A flash of worry, embarrassment, dread. Finally, realization. </p><p>“We do.”</p><p>The walk back to Kenma’s house is tense. It isn’t their usual comfortable silence. There isn’t any of Kuroo’s typical babbling about his day, no complaints about Lev, no occasional discussion of their past practice matches. Not a word slips out, not from Kuroo, not from Kenma. Just the noise of shuffling books in their backpacks, footsteps, and silence.</p><p>When they make it to Kenmas house, Kuroo waits at his doorstep. He is so obviously uncomfortable, and a tad embarrassed. Kenma grabs his arm harshly and drags him inside. They greet Kenma’s parents swiftly and quietly, then slip up to his room. </p><p>Kenma takes extra care in shutting his door before he sits down on his bed, mind screaming. He pats the spot beside him. Kuroo sits down, and for the first time in their friendship, they feel stiff and uncomfortable. Kenma turns to face him, and Kuroo does the same. </p><p>Kuroo looks down, “I… um… you were quiet at school today. Must be thinking real hard in that brain of yours, huh.” He anxiously taps on his knee subconsciously.</p><p>“I was.”</p><p>“What were you,” he pauses, “what were you thinking about?”</p><p>“I think you know, Tetsurou.”</p><p>Kuroo’s eyes widen, and his muscles go tense. Kenma never uses his first name.</p><p>“You know?”</p><p>“I know.”</p><p>“Yes. You do. Are you sure? Nevermind, you are sure, you wouldn’t say anything otherwise. Do you know what I think you do? ‘Cause I’m pretty sure but you’re being wildly vague here and-”</p><p>“I know that you’re in love with me, Kuroo.”</p><p>Kuroo’s nervous rambling is cut off and the room goes still. The word feels strange on his tongue, love. It feels even stranger in the same sentence as ‘Kuroo’.</p><p>“I’ve known for a while now.”</p><p>Kuroo’s face burns red. His fingers twitch in the fabric of his jacket. </p><p>Kenma doesn’t really know what to say. He hadn’t planned this far. So, he’s honest, “I… didn’t know what to do with it, really.”</p><p>“We don’t… have to do anything… just give me a little to get over you and it’ll be fine-”</p><p>But that answer was <em>wrong wrong wrong </em>and it’s <em>not </em>what he wants. Not at all. </p><p>“No. No, that’s…not it.”</p><p>Kuroo snaps his head up, his eyes widening as he stares at Kenma. He continues, “I don’t… I can’t really say I know what to do with this. But I… do like you. I should’ve said that first, shit.”</p><p>Kuroo’s hands are shaking, now. Kenma covers them with his own. </p><p>“Kuroo.”</p><p>“Kenma.” His voice is cracking, but it still makes Kenma smile.</p><p>“So what do we do?”</p><p>Kuroo sits up, slowly. He wipes his eyes and sniffs, once, twice. And then:</p><p>“Lots of things, baby.”</p><p>“Oh no. God, anything but that.”</p><p>They snicker together, finally breaking the tension. It feels like the thick wall that has been building itself up between them finally shattered. </p><p>“Seriously though, don’t flirt with me like that, or I’ll punch you in the stomach.”</p><p>“Ok, ok! Jeez!” He chuckles, his voice a little broken, “How about a kiss? We can do that now, right?”</p><p>“Sure,”</p><p>“Wow, it’s kinda hard to want to kiss you when you look like you’d rather be doing anything else-”</p><p>Kenma kisses his cheek. He’s never kissed anyone, so he doesn’t dare try and kiss Kuroo on the lips, but it’s enough to effectively shut him up. </p><p>A beat of silence as Kuroo’s mouth hangs open in surprise.</p><p>“Close your mouth, you’ll catch flies like that.”</p><p>Kuroo's mouth snaps shut and he touches his cheek, where Kenma had just kissed. His face goes almost completely red before he looks at Kenma again. Kenma laughs softly- Kuroo's pupils are practically heart-shaped.</p><p>And then Kuroo is attacking him with pure affection, kissing all across his face. His hands cup Kenma’s jaw, and he’s staring at him like he’s the best thing in the world. </p><p>All these years, the word “love” has meant nothing to Kenma. Now, with Kuroo’s gaze fixed upon him, he realizes why Kuroo had wanted it so bad. </p><p>Kenma never thought himself to be the kind of person who would fall in love. Turns out, he didn’t have to <em> fall </em>because he was already <em> there </em>.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>uhhhhh hi??? I ended up putting wayyy too much effort into this with my friends so I hope you like it. Big shoutout to my favorite beta reader(s) teagan(@crime_skeleton on insta) and camille. (but mostly teagan because she edited with me for like two days straight)(please don't argue more about it guys its ur fault you didn't help me at my time of NEED, camille)</p><p>anyway</p><p>big headcannon that hinata uses exclamation points religiously change my mind. also "praktice" in the first email had my friends and I cackling for no reason but hey, it was like 12 at night what were we supposed to do, not laugh?</p><p>um whatever you do dont check out my other platforms I've got like three friends who know and judge me for writing fanfics so dont expose me lol</p><p>have an awesome day if you read this and an awesome(er) one if you comment or leave kudos :))))</p></blockquote></div></div>
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